Top 10 Reasons having two daughters is NOT COOL

Before I start the list, I want to remind my readers that I feel very blessed to have two beautiful daughters. Fortunately they are still very young, 3 years old and 10 months old, so the fears I have are somewhat premature. However, they are real and one day will come true. Here we go.

10. Hitting the BAD years at the same time
If you do the math you will realize my girls will eventually be 16 + 13, God help me. Not to mention 18 + 21. So I have already planned for a stress-induced heart attack somewhere around the age of 45.

9. The day I quit being 'Daddy'
One day my little girls are going to stop seeing me as their 'daddy' and start seeing me as this tyrannical fascist that is out to ruin all their fun and future social development.

8. The SEX talk
OK, I'll be honest, when the time comes to discuss 'the birds and the bees' I will most assuredly take a prolonged golf vacation and leave the life lessons to my wife.

7. The first date
This is one of my worst fears, but also one of my most well thought out battles. I will just have to tell their first boyfriends I have no problem going back to jail over beating a teenager senseless.

6. Wearing Makeup
Now I do not agree with old-school rules on this subject. More than likely my vote won't even count. I just don't want my girls using makeup incorrectly. I would much rather see them made up as the girl-next-door as opposed to the rookie hooker on the corner.

5. Drama...Drama...........Drama
Enough said. If you're a female you know what I'm saying, and if you're a guy...YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

4. Too much shopping
I hope my girls and I can find common interests to share our time together, but I assure you it won't be shopping. I also know that their genes contain one-half of my wife's complete obsession with it. I will be there for prom and wedding shopping though. It's a must do to ensure proper dress 'coverage'.

3. The first car
This may sound like a stereotype, but teenage girls are not the best drivers. I know.....BOOOO. They just scare the hell out of me.

2. Three women with PMS
Wowwy...Wow. Scientific research has proven that women living together tend to have their monthly visitors at the same time. I will be making my monthly visit to the golf course.

1. Boys...Boys...Boys
I'll kill 'em. I know how boys are, having been one for a long time. Especially teenage boys who can barely walk without slipping in their own pool of testosterone. They leave a trail like snails. My #1 fear.

I can only try to enjoy the time I have with my girls while they are little. They still see me as a hero, role model, and authority figure. I won't be like every other father and wish for them to stay little forever. I can only hope they never figure out that getting 'cooties' isn't that bad.